The smell of pencils and paper is in the air. Everyone is posting pictures of their kiddos headed back to school, myself included. This will be the fourth year of homeschooling for our family. I honestly never thought we would homeschool for this long. I love the idea of homeschooling. I admire those women who whip up amazing hands-on lessons, follow through and enjoy every minute of it. Homeschool moms are superheroes in my book. For myself it was always a temporary solution until we could somehow budget in private school. I have spent every year praying for that possibility and The Lord has never opened that door. Each year I dread starting back to school. I loath the task of getting head strong, active boys to work through their lessons each day. And it showed. Most days were a fight and ended with some one crying. Usually it was me.
As the school year approached, I once again began praying and once again The Lord closed the door to other school options. So in desperation one morning in my quiet time I laid down an ultimatum. Which by the way I do not recommend doing. However in my foolishness, this is what I demanded- "Lord, this is it. This is the last year I am trying this. If I have to fight my way through and do not enjoy school this year, I quit. I will do whatever it takes to put these boys in school." God in all of His mercy gave me this answer...
Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of Jesus;
Giving thanks to God the Father through Him.
Trust in The Lord with all your heart,
Lean not on your own understanding,
But in all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your steps.
Trust in The Lord and do good;
Dwell in the land and freedom His righteousness.
Delight yourself also in The Lord and He shall give you the desires of your heart.
He didn't stop there. Over the next couple of days He shared the story of Caleb with me. Remember Caleb? He was the spy who went in with Joshua and declared the land was good and worth the fight. He was one of the only ones to survive wandering the desert and then after conquering the land asked for the mountain that still needed to be overpowered. Caleb asked for the difficult because he knew his God could deliver.
So what does that say to me? I partly pray for the boys to go to school, because I loved school and I know they would too. But mostly I pray to avoid the fight it takes each year. I don't want the difficult. How small my faith feels when I admit this. But with admittance comes confession and then redemption. and so I surrender to His will and a new year. There will be days of joy and days laden with the fight. But I will choose to ask for the difficult. I will choose to trust my great God. I will choose to do my best. I will choose to dwell in the land He has given me.
What about you? Perhaps it is not your home life you find difficult. Maybe it's your job, your health, your finances, or your walk with the Lord. I challenge to ask for the difficult, dwell in the land and then see what miracles your great God does.