Canon. I should have known better when I bestowed that title upon him. He embodies everything the name implies. He loves fiercely. Speaks boldly. And fights...well, without reprieve. You wouldn't believe my afternoon story if I told you. Let me just say as I sat on the porch swing watching the sunset with brilliant colors, my arms ached from holding him through his tantrum. It didn't end well. Daddy had to come home from the office for further consequences and the evening was cut short with an early bed time.
If I can be completely transparent for a moment, in the eleven years of being a mom to three boys, I have often questioned God's sanity; "Why Lord? I can not do this." I find that I fail more often than not. Victory is a short, sweet moment. I tend to have more & more days that I give up. This job of being not just their mother, but also their teacher wearies me. It has become to easy to give into their whining, or hand them a video game, or give into my own tantrum, running away to my dear friends Starbucks & Facebook. Loving them can be a struggle. Serving them a chore.
In the last few months, I have been studying the book of Esther with my women's bible study. The idea of being born for a such a time as this has been burning in my heart. I have seriously been stepping outside my comfort zone, reaching out to strangers, and looking for those times I was born for. But today as I wrestled my strong willed son, the Spirit rose up within me, "you were born for such a time as this". It brought me to my knees and I could only sob out the truth of Jesus over Him. As he wiggled in my arms I began to pray...
- You are fearfully and wonderfully made
- You were made for a purpose
- You were bought with a price and sealed by the Holy Spirit
- I will not give up, because I love you. I will FIGHT for you.
- I was born to be your mommy and to raise a man of God who will boldly stand for the kingdom of God!
See, I know that God is going to use Canon in BIG ways. God has plans for all three of my boys. I see the character He has given them. Canon will love thousands into His kingdom and fight for those who cannot fight for themselves. Isaiah can memorize and speak Truth confidently. He will, in a society of lies, stand for Truth. Noah is an encourager and hard worker. He will run his race with endurance and determination.
But here is the problem, mommies & daddies, this is not a physical war we are fighting. See, satan knows God's plan for my kiddos and your kiddos is for good and God's glory. Satan is fighting for them. He wants to shred every little bit of them. He wants to devour them whole. But, YOU, were born for such a time as this. Don't let satan blind you with the norms of this society. Don't let him wear you down. Stand therefore! Stand firm! Claim the promises of God over your children. Ask God what He has planned for them and speak it over them. Pick up your armour, put down whatever vices this world has handed you and FIGHT.
It's late now, and as I crawled in next to Canon and cradled his sleeping form, I am struck by his beauty and the peace that envelopes his sweet face. With gentleness I begin once again to pray over him. I cry over him and his brothers. And then I whisper, "tomorrow is a new day, I will rejoice and be glad in it. I will FIGHT for it" I am thankful for today.