It would seem in our society today that the lines of integrity are slightly blurred. Perhaps it's because we must provide for our family, take care of them, protect them even. Or maybe it's the dog eat dog mentality that encourages an attitude of me first and the best for me - more of an attitude of selfishness. Maybe still we've just become lazy and it's easier to let things slide. Whether it's the "Robin Hood" syndrome or "keeping up with the Jones"; a lie is still a lie and honesty is still the best policy.
I found myself needing to make a decision involving integrity this weekend. For the last month my family has suffered a rather large black mold infestation in our condo. Six different condos have been affected. Between remediation teams, construction crews, insurance adjusters and the HOA it has become most intolerable. You can imagine that besides the health issues of this situation, homeschooling and carrying on normal activities in this chaos has felt insurmountable. I admit, I have kicked and screamed like a two year old, begged for a way out, prayed, cried and then kicked and screamed again.
After looking at houses that didn't fit our budget or our time frame, I had just about given up. Then this week a friend offered us her house. It was in our budget, we could move in right away and was perfect. It was all my favorite colors and had stainless steel appliances. You just don't get those luxuries when you rent. But my heart was in knots over the situation. The house was going into short sale and I could not admit that I was renting it, not to the HOA, the bank - no one.With the down fall of the real estate world it has become a common and accepted practice. I wanted out of our current situation so bad and that house was so pretty, I said yes to the rental. I agreed to look the other way. She was a single mom simply trying to take care of her family. And it's not fair that the banks won't help out.
In truth my heart wrestled all night knowing that I could not reconcile what I was about to do with the knowledge that my God is bigger than all of our problems. When you couple that with the fact that He is righteous and a just God, you must walk in integrity and trust that He will be faithful. And so, this morning we turned down the rental and chose to stick it out where we are. I cried again, broken hearted over my wants. But behind that pain was the reassuring presence of my Lord and the knowledge that His plans are bigger and better than mine. I could hear Him whisper, "Good job, my daughter."
I understand desperation and despair. I have not always taken the high road if you will. But Jesus, loves us and by the very definition of love He cannot help but provide for us and take of us. He says not to worry about what you should eat or drink (Matthew 6:25-34), to not be anxious but to pray with thanksgiving (Philippians 4:6). My God shall supply all your needs.
Let's not blur the line of integrity, rather let us live above reproach and have honesty and truth reign in our hearts.
