All that to say (don't judge me!) I struggle with loving on the boys and loving my life right now. In the back of my head, I kept telling myself, "try it and if it doesn't work, throw them in the public school. They belong to God - they'll survive." But in my heart I know I don't just want them to survive. I want them to grow into thriving and active men of God. Over the course of the last month, when I was ready to throw in the towel God has lifted me up. In church on Sundays and Wednesdays our pastor has been teaching out of 2 Timothy. The whole book speaks to us about being faithful to the end. Every time I step into that building God keeps laying on my heart what He has appointed me to do and to fulfill my ministry.
But you be watchful in all things,
do the work of an evangelist,
fulfill your ministry,
~ 2 Timothy 4:5 ~
I know every family is different and God has a different call on everyone's life, but I am convinced of His call to holiness and righteousness in our lives and the command to raise up our children in this way. I have recently been encouraged through a fellow homeschooling mom and blogger, Erica of Confessions of a Homeschooler. She said it best in her article "Why We Homeschool" -
Deut. 6:5-7 says “Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.”
"I wondered to myself, how am I to teach my children when we sit at home, when we walk along the road, when we lie down and when we get up if they are gone all day long? How can I hide God’s word in their heart if most of the opportunities happen when they are at school? How can I truly impress upon their hearts if I only see them at dinner and at bedtime?" - Erica
He has appointed me to be the minister to these boys. My ministry is to disciple them in the way of Jesus. And He has very clearly laid it on my heart that the only way to accomplish this at this time is to keep them home. There is no plan "B".
So we are going to keep going and not give up. I place it all in His mighty hands to work out. Perhaps for you the struggle isn't home life. Maybe it's a job or maybe a relationship. I encourage you to not give up. Whatever ministry God has put in your life - fulfill it! The rad thing about God is He doesn't just call us to something and then leave us to figure it out. He empowers us. He strengthens us.
But the Lord stood with me,
and strengthened me, so that the message
might be fully preached.
~ 2 Timothy 4:17 ~
Ps. Be sure to check out Erica at confessionsofahomeschooler.com!